by C. Baer Bush, Undersecretary of Undress, Project for a Nude American Century (PNAC)
Several European countries have banned the niqab – the face-veil that a small minority of Muslim women wear to signify their spirituality.
These bans do not go far enough. Civilized societies must also ban the hijab, which many Muslim women use to conceal their hair.
But even banning the hijab would not solve the problem. Under a niqab/hijab ban, Muslim women would keep trying to follow the Qur’an’s injunction to dress modestly – and hide many other important parts of their bodies.
The only solution: Outlaw all forms of female clothing.
When women hide their bodies from the male gaze, they do so for one reason and one reason only: To submit to patriarchal male oppression. The act of wearing clothing, especially if it conceals important female charms such as face, hair, breasts, thighs, derrière, and genitals, is an admission by women that old-fashioned religious patriarchs are in charge of society.
Women must be forcibly liberated from their clothing!
My colleagues at the Committee for a Nude World Order and the Project for a Nude American Century will be introducing a bill that would provide a penalty of up to ten years in prison to any woman who conceals her body with clothing. The bill provides funding for police “strip squads” with the power to roam the streets and remove any article or object designed to conceal a woman’s charms from the male gaze.
Opponents of the anti-clothing bill will undoubtedly claim that women should have the right to wear whatever they like. But when a female “chooses” to wear clothes, is this really a free choice? Isn’t it likely that her father, uncles, or brothers are exerting subtle social pressure to prevent her from wandering around naked in public?
Obviously the horrific practice of clothing women is not a “free choice” at all. It is a symptom of patriarchy. And it is part of a grand Muslim conspiracy to destroy Western civilization.
Conspiracy theorists who oppose the Nude World Order will undoubtedly claim that forcibly stripping women is a violation of their civil liberties. But sometimes, if we wish to preserve freedom, we have to give up our liberties. This is one of those times.
The conspiracy theorists have raised other arguments against the clothing ban. They say, for example, that forcing the population to witness the naked bodies of such women as the Queen of England, Hilary Clinton, Barbara Bush, Angela Merkel, and Nancy Pelosi would amount to cruel and unusual punishment.
Yes, being forced to witness such horrors would be a difficult ordeal. But Western civilization has survived the Black Death, the Mongol hordes, two world wars, a stealth takeover by Zionist banksters, and an interminable series of atrocious performances by Justin Bieber. It can surely survive the sight of Angela Merkel’s flabby, drooping, wrinkled breasts.
Clothing-ban opponents also claim that the proposed law would devastate the fashion industry and hamper economic growth. In reality, the opposite is the case. By preventing billions of dollars from being wasted on women’s clothing, funding would become available for productive investment in such genuinely useful industries as munitions factories. For the price of one year’s worth of women’s clothing, we could buy five stealth bombers, three nuclear submarines, or several dozen nuclear warheads capable of obliterating a major city.
The bottom line: If the War on Terror is to be won, we cannot settle for half measures. Simply banning niqab and hijab will not bring us final victory. The only way for Western Civilization to triumph over its modesty-espousing enemies is to wage an all-out, uncompromising war to the death on women’s clothing.
I agree, whole-heartedly, women need less clothing, but only the real good-looking ones.
Shillary? Pelosi…ai yi ..
You made laugh again…haven't laughed enough lately, KB, but you can often rouse, at least, some real chuckles at minimum.
Thanks,
Public nudity occurs in at least 1500 species. Gymnophobia only occurs in one.
Clothing is a social construct!